TABOOS

follow the white rabbit: TW for rape culture.

Japanese Penis Festival

Penis lollypops at Japan’s Kanamara festival come in a variety of shapes and sizes. For the timid, there are tiny pink wieners, maybe three inches long and only good for a quick fix. Throw down a few more yen and you can have the upgraded version, a smudgy six-inch block which will stand up to a few hours of solid licking.

The elderly lady standing across from me obviously doesn’t do things by half measures — she’s clasping a candy wang that looks as if it’s been hacked off a psychedelic porn star. After unwrapping its plastic covering, she sheepishly looks around before sticking out her tongue and taking a lick of its rainbow-coloured glans, to the delight of her kimono-clad companion.

We’re in the thick of a very unusual procession. Just in front of us, a pack of drag queens is hoisting a gigantic pink penis sculpture above their heads. It dwarfs every other nearby phallus, even the one made from black stone which is leading the parade. As the cross-dressing scrum makes its way slowly down the road, a gaggle of camera-wielding tourists jostle each other for prime photo positions.

This is the Kanamara Matsuri, one of Japan’s most unusual and notorious festivals, which takes place on the first Sunday of April each year, just outside Tokyo in the city of Kawasaki. It’s a penis-venerating celebration which originated in the Edo period of Japan (1603-1867), when local prostitutes would come to the small suburban shrine and pray for good business and protection from venereal diseases. Each year when Japan’s cherry blossoms bloomed, these women would carry a schlong-shaped object through the streets before settling in for a picnic in the shrine’s courtyard.

Fast forward to the present day and things are more or less the same — except for the addition of cross-dressing, European faces and a covers band churning through some of pop music’s dodgier moments.

The drag queens, who are members of the Tokyo-based Elizabeth Club, have been participating in the festival for almost 30 years now. Chief among them is Atsuko Asano , who originally convinced the Kanamara shrine’s priest to let her cross-dressing brethren join the parade.

“We came to this town and saw the festival, and thought we’d like to participate. I asked the chief of the shrine if we could come along, and he said it was okay,” Atsuko says, then points to the giant pink penis. “About 10 years ago, we made this by ourselves. At first we had a small wooden penis but we destroyed it.”

It’s a striking contrast to religious events in Australia or the US; the drag queens are the heart of the party and seem to be welcomed by everyone.

“We are very friendly, very open. The female or male members of this shrine, or anyone else, can enjoy our company,” Atsuko says.

Three women soldiers from the US Navy are trailing along with the drag queens. It’s only midday, but they’ve been dipping heavily into the ceremonial sake. “We came here for the cock. My husband’s in Iraq right now, defending our country, so it’s the only cock I’m going to get,” one of them slurs.

Another of the trio is returning for her second Kanamara Matsuri. She’s come to the festival with a serious purpose in mind — to get pregnant. She’s been trying for several years, and half-seriously hopes the festival can help her.

“I didn’t get to touch the penis statue last year. But this year I’m touching it, I’m doing whatever it takes. I’m on a mission,” she tells me.

The penis shrines eventually reach the temple and are set down with much fanfare, after which the temple officials stand on the steps and thank everyone for coming. The crowd spreads out through the grounds, which are draped in fully blooming cherry blossoms, and just about everyone who’s old enough starts sinking prodigious amounts of alcohol from nearby stores. The drag queens dance, the priests mingle, the navy girls fall in the dirt and the tourists keep taking photos until things draw to a close several hours later.

I slept with my sperm donor

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve wanted a big family. I’m from the UK and my parents split up when I was three and I was an only child until I was 11, when my first half-brother was born. I’d always had this fantasy that having lots of children would be wonderful.

I married when I was 24 but as time went on, our relationship deterioriated and I left when I was 30.

Unfortunately my second marriage also broke up within a few years, before we had a chance to have chilren.

I hoped that I would meet someone else but, with time ticking by, I started to panic that I was heading towards the end of my fertility, so I began looking into various options.

Egg freezing was too expensive and had limited success, andIVF seemed too dramatic, with all the drugs involved. Then in 2006 I got into another serious relationship and assumed this to be the man I would have children with. When it suddenly ended, I felt as though the ground had been ripped from beneath me.

Eventually I found a fertility clinic willing to treat single women. In 2008 I had my first attempt at IUI (intrauterine insemination) using donor sperm, and was thrilled to become pregnant. I never expected it to go wrong, but soon after I had a miscarriage.

I was devastated, but my way of coping was immediately to try again. I had three more unsuccessful sessions of IUI at the clinic, but I was so uncomfortable with how little information they could give me about the donors that I started to wonder if subconsciously this was stopping me getting pregnant.

By this point I had spent more than €12,000 on treatment. Despite being 45 at the time, the specialist said that my eggs were better than many a 35-year-old.

At first I had no idea that there was an alternative to the clinic, but then in September last year I came across a website that offered to match women with potential sperm donors.

I have done a lot of internet dating over the years so, although this had an entirely different purpose, I put up my profile and photo. I discovered that some donors offered artificial insemination (AI) — the syringe method — and others “natural insemination” (NI); in other words, sex.

My immediate preference was AI: it seemed neat, clean and clinical, but as time went on I became more open to the idea of NI. From researching the subject, and from the donors’ stories on the site, I believe that you are far more likely to conceive that way. But I knew I’d have to meet the donor first to decide. All of them claimed to be doing it for altruistic reasons, but I’m cynical enough to realise that many simply wanted free sex.

One guy I met, Seamus*, wanted to be a full co-parent. He was fairly attractive in his photo and seemed intelligent, so I agreed to meet him. I met him three times before we did the AI. He came to my flat six times over the five days I was ovulating.

I found the whole experience traumatic. It was weird having this guy masturbating in my bathroom. He didn’t feel comfortable doing it with me in the flat, so I’d have to walk my dog around the block about 300 times until he texted me to say that he’d finished. Being handed this specimen pot was disgusting. I did conceive, but immediately miscarried. In a way it was a relief, because I never wanted to see him again.

After that I was reluctant to do AI again and started to move towards natural insemination. I reasoned that sex is the natural way and for animals the purpose of having sex is procreation rather than pleasure.

Then in October last year I found the website co-parentmatch.com, which is for women looking for sperm donors or co-parents.

I received 50-100 messages from potential donors, but I replied only to seven. Some sites ban all mentions of NI, but with this one you are allowed to tick it as a preference, although it recommends taking your donor to a licensed fertility clinic.

One donor who stood out was Paul*. He was 33, single and had joint residence of his two children by a past girlfriend.

I liked that he was an involved parent and he said that he wanted to help others who couldn’t have children. Over several emails I made it clear that I couldn’t decide about NI until we met. I bought an AI kit just in case. Paul met me in a pub. We spent three hours talking about ourselves.

It felt partly like a date, partly like a business meeting. Eventually he said: “OK, I do have to go back to work soon, so what’s the verdict?”

I told him that I still didn’t know if I could go through with it, but that we’d go back to my flat. I’m not sexually promiscuous and even on a first date with someone fantastic, it’s unlikely I’d sleep with him straight away, so this was a big deal. But once we got to the flat I thought: “I’ve come this far, NI is so much simpler and more likely to work than AI.”

Of course, it still felt odd to have sex for the purpose of getting pregnant with someone I had just met. Until the last second I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it. I was battling my own desire to say no with my goal to become pregnant.

Sensing that I was still unsure, he said, “Let’s make it like a normal date”, and then I kind of relaxed into it. I was on autopilot at first but, surprisingly, the sex turned out to be quite good. It was a bit like having sex with a friend.

Afterwards, he quickly showered and put on his suit and we thanked each other profusely, which I found funny. After he left, I felt euphoric, thinking: “That was so easy.” I invited him back the following night, just to make sure that it worked. It was still pretty awkward the second time.

When I found out a few days later that I was pregnant, I was thrilled. To my amazement, an early scan showed that I was expecting twins. Then at eight weeks I had a miscarriage.

I focused on this being the farthest I’d managed to get in a pregnancy. To make it to eight weeks felt like a big step forward. When I emailed Paul to say that I’d miscarried, he replied saying: “Sorry to hear that, good luck.”

I’ve had a few months off, and now I’m emailing two other donors. Once I’ve met them, I might consider NI with them. One is a blond, blue-eyed man who lives in Montreal.

The other is a Danish guy in his twenties, 6ft 4in, and seems articulate and intelligent. I’m prepared to travel to meet them.

I still hope to meet Mr Right and have children with him. I’ll be honest about my experiences and if he’s the right man he’ll understand. I’d be honest with my child, too — children appreciate love and honesty.

I know that some people might find it hard to understand what I do. My mother was shocked when I first told her. My father doesn’t know. I do care what others think, but I won’t let that govern my decisions.

Not having a child, when all your friends are married with children, can be socially isolating. I just hope one day I can become a mother too.

* Some names have been changed

(Source: spermdonationanswers.com)

London Times Runs Article Promoting Incest

By Thaddeus M. Baklinski and John Jalsevac

An article narrated by an anonymous woman who says she is “an academic,” published in the London Times this week, favorably describes at length and in detail the woman’s incestuous relationship with her brother. The article is entitled “I had sex with my brother but I don’t feel guilty.”

“Daniel is my brother,” says the anonymous narrator, whose story was transcribed by journalist Joan McFadden, “but since I was 14 we’ve had a sexual relationship - and that’s not something that many people would feel comfortable with.”

The narrator then relates, in increasingly explicit detail, the manner in which her and her brother’s close relationship gradually became sexual during their early teenage years. The author repeatedly expresses her belief that there was nothing wrong with the relationship, other than that society was unwilling to accept it.

She explains that the topic of incest is frequently tied in with sexual abuse, but that it need not be. “Incest is so often spoken about in the same breath as abuse, but if you’re close in age and equal in relationship terms then it’s entirely different,” she says. “There’s no comparison between siblings close in age having sexual feelings and contact and an adult forcing a younger member of the family to do something they neither understand nor want to be involved in.”

She also suggests that incest should begin to be studied from an academic viewpoint and disassociated from the topic of sexual abuse. “As an academic I have a tendency to draw logical conclusions. I like to see a pattern and resolution, so it does pain me that what appears so lovely and natural to me would be regarded as abhorrent by most people. It’s not my subject, but I would be really interested to see a study on incest done on these terms, moving it away entirely from the concept of abuse.”

She concludes by explaining that she and her brother have since ended their sexual relationship, with her brother having gotten married, and she herself having met another man with whom she is having a relationship. Nevertheless, she explains, “It’s hard knowing that the one person you love above everything is out of bounds. Perhaps worst of all is the fact that you can’t tell anyone, as his or her disgust would ruin everything.”

The subject of incest has been appearing more frequently in the mainstream media in recent months, with its treatment becoming increasingly sympathetic. Two recent court cases related to incest have been reported on by LifeSiteNews.com.

In March of this year John Deaves and his daughter Anne pleaded guilty to two charges of incestuous intercourse which produced two children. One child died a few days after birth; the other was physically healthy.

District Court Judge Steven Millsteed observed that the case was unique, in that it did not involve the abuse of a minor; rather, the relationship took place between two consenting adults. “This is not a case where a father has violated his daughter and used his position of authority to take advantage of her powerlessness. Rather, this is a case of a mutually consensual union, formed by adults, who had previously had little contact.”

Judge Millsteed, however, went on to argue that “the offence of incest exists not merely to protect children from sexual abuse.” 

“In my view,” he continued, “other relevant factors include the need to prevent the high risk of congenital defects of children born of incestuous relationships and to prevent children who are brought up in a family unit founded on an incestuous relationship suffering psychological harm and social stigmatisation. Those factors assume significance in this case,” said Millsteed.

In February 2007, the German brother-sister couple, Patrick Stuebing and Susan Karolewski, asked the Constitutional Court to overturn the ban on incest.

Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco of Genoa, appointed last year to lead the Italian Bishops Conference, said when commenting on the Italian government’s initiative to legalize same-sex unions, family policy must have a basis in natural law and the moral order. If it does not, public opinion someday may justify the instatement of law that sanctions destructive sexual relationships once believed inconceivable.

If society allows homosexual unions, said the Archbishop, “Why say ‘no’ to forms of legally recognised co-habitation which create alternatives to the family? Why say ‘no’ to incest? Why say ‘no’ to the pedophile party in Holland?” (If We Don’t Say No to Same-Sex Unions, then Why Not Incest and Pedophilia Says Archbishop: http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2007/apr/07040208.html)